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Player Profiles


Mark ‘Leg-Side’ Hibberd (hibby)
A fine cricketer and sturdy (in more ways than one) fixtures secretary. Mark has been known to hit the ball on the offside- but only twice, and once was an edge. Once had a heart attack on pitch but played on anyway.
Nick Hudson (journo)
A fine cricketer.
Sometimes known as the ‘Hawkley express’- is this because he was removed from service by Lord Beeching in 1964 or because he is often seen bowling up and down the wrong line at Hawkley? By nature a flamboyant left handed batsmen, his team-mates perpetuate a long-running practical joke by insisting he plays as a fast bowler.
Nick is our team tart- as he will play a game for anyone who asks him. Nick does write a great match report and is obviously sleeping with the editor of the Petersfield Post.
Rich Humphreys (rent-boy)
A fine cricketer. Seems to appeal to the WAGS quite a bit- don't know why? Used to be able to bat, but can still field.
Nick Troth (trothy)
Another fine cricketer, Nick has occasionally been seen running between the wickets, but this is usually after dusk. Was once spotted running in the field, but redeemed himself by kicking a sure single over the rope for a four. Seems to be breeding rather a lot.
Chris Tanner (fingers)
Very safe pair of hands. Injures himself when playing for other teams as he tries to stoop to a lower level of cricket. A fine cricketer (but only when playing for Hawkley).
Aaron Stewart
Our finest overseas cricketer- well actually our only overseas player. Seems to know what he is doing- we should fly him over from Hong-Kong more often. Can drink a lot of beer.
John Dinnis. (johnny retro)
A fine cricketer (as long as he’s not batting at Number 3). A beautiful left handed stroke maker, and has caught a ball in the slips. Partakes in the odd glass (bottle) of wine. Once scored an all-run four but has not been seen at Hawkley since, although is rumoured to be off the life-support system.
Francis Usmar. (dapper)
A fine cricketer. If there were an award (which there isn’t) for best-dressed cricketer this man would win it hands down.   As stylish a batsman as he is a dresser.
Viv Evans
A fine cricketer and supplier of the ‘Viv Evans 11’ match -where we play a game of cricket, have barbequed lamb and drink beer, all in all very good fun.
Nick  (sheriff)
A fine cricketer and serial email user. Should be playing for England (though what sport is the big question).  Has done more than anyone to raise the standard of the Saturday side when he agreed to restrict his appearances to Sundays. A fine chairman. 
Ray Dunstan (mondo)
Can often be found digging for old relics (the Hawkley Cricket Club Trophies?). An all rounder and fine cricketer.
 Charlie Butcher
Definitely has the makings of a fine cricketer. Has been seen on the ground on a wednesday evening, but not on a sunday for a while.
Andrew Bolton (notlob)
Maybe a fine cricketer, we don’t know, as he never plays. Comes to most curry evenings though. Has the makings of a fine cricketer.
Chris Huntley (little chris)
Another fine young cricketer. Arguably the best under-20 left-arm seam-bowling motorcycle sidecar racer in the village. A fine illustration of the value of maturity in a cricket team, his best performances for Hawkley this season have been in the Hawkley Inn rather than the cricket club.
Hallam Brown (nipper)
A fine young spin bowler. Comes from a noted local sporting family: his father is the undisputed sledging champion of Hawkley.
Nigel Brown (brawny)
The loudest man on the pitch. Sledges everyone (on the Hawkley team). Very fine cricketer and Captain of the Saturday side.
Dickie (juggler)
A fine cricketer. Managed a hat trick of catches on debut (all off one ball!). Has scored a run.
James McCurrach (general)
Has the makings of a fine cricketer, one day will be able to bat and bowl, but not for a while.
Brad Kneller
I do believe will be an asset to the Hawkley team and become a fine cricketer- can definately bat, though he's too fast in the field for his own body.
JP- description coming soon!- i'm sure he is a fine cricketer though.
John Marden (tarzan) 
A fine cricketer, can both bat and bowl, though playing at Hawkley he is mainly surrounded by monkeys.
Christian deWolff (wolfman)
Maker of very fine tea (or to be truthful Emily is). A fine cricketer and excellent find for the Hawkley squad. Often seen prowling the outfield after dark,  we don't mind his howling, but marking his territory is getting a bit annoying for our fielders.
Ed Peel (Curtly)
A fine captain of the Sunday side. Too tall for any ground fielding, but has plucked the ball out of the sky on a couple of occasions. Can been seen sailing when not on the cricket pitch -likes to hang around with men in small spaces.
Rory Evans
One of our star youngsters and has the makings of a vey fine cricketer.
Seamus Evans
Another fine young cricketer, we are not sure about his parentage though as he can actuall catch a ball. DNA test results are pending, but we are sure it can't be Viv.
Tom Wallace (Herman)
Runs in at 80mph and then bowls a slow ball, very cunning and makes for a very fine bowler.
Hector Fair
Completely mad and very fine cricketer. Has saved the day for us on more than one occasion.
Chris Head
A fine retired cricketer.
Our most reliable cricketer- a fine player.