Player Profiles
Mark ‘Leg-Side’ Hibberd (hibby)
A fine cricketer and sturdy (in more ways than one) fixtures secretary. Mark has been known to hit the ball on the offside- but only twice, and once was an edge. Once had a heart attack on pitch but played on anyway.
Nick Hudson (journo)
A fine cricketer. Nick is our team tart- as he will play a game for anyone who asks him. Nick does write a great match report and is obviously sleeping with the editor of the Petersfield Post.
Rich Humphreys (rent-boy)
A fine cricketer. Seems to appeal to the WAGS quite a bit- don't know why? Used to be able to bat, but can still field.
Nick Troth (trothy)
Another fine cricketer, Nick has occasionally been seen running between the wickets, but this is usually after dusk. Was once spotted running in the field, but redeemed himself by kicking a sure single over the rope for a four. Seems to be breeding rather a lot.
Chris Tanner (fingers)
Very safe pair of hands. Injures himself when playing for other teams as he tries to stoop to a lower level of cricket. A fine cricketer (but only when playing for Hawkley).
Henry Batten. (twiggy)
A fine cricketer and inventor of the ‘Batten dismissal’- This is where the player plays and holds the most perfect forward defensive shot only to see their bails distributed handsomely over the pitch. A fine fielder who can actually catch the ball. Dodgy haircut though.
Mark Marvin. (forest)
A fine cricketer, obviously was a drug runner in a former life as he can cover the whole of one side of the pitch in the field. Knocked a winning six against Steep off the last ball of the match and hence can do no wrong.
Aaron Stewart
Our finest overseas cricketer- well actually our only overseas player. Seems to know what he is doing- we should fly him over from Hong-Kong more often. Can drink a lot of beer.
Nick Todd. (toddy)
A fine cricketer. Obviously a keen gardener Nick never wants to disturb the grass in the field, would rather knock the ball straight into the carpark.
James Brushwood (basil)
A fine cricketer and publican. Keeps wicket and keeps beer, what more can a team want?
Gavin Thompson
A fine rugby player and cricketer. Suffers from dodgy LBW decisions - even when umpiring.
John Dinnis. (johnny retro)
A fine cricketer (as long as he’s not batting at Number 3). A beautiful left handed stroke maker, and has caught a ball in the slips.
Francis Usmar. (dapper)
A fine cricketer. If there were an award (which there isn’t) for best-dressed cricketer this man would win it hands down.
Viv Evans
A fine cricketer and supplier of the ‘Viv Evans 11’ match -where we play a game of cricket, have barbequed lamb and drink beer, all in all very good fun.
Nick Davis (sheriff)
A very fine cricketer and serial email user. Should be playing for England (though what sport is the big question). A fine chairman.
Ray Dunstan (mondo)
Can often be found digging for old relics (the Hawkley Cricket Club Trophies?). An all rounder and fine cricketer.
Keith Madeley (limpet)
A fine cricketer, an example to us all of how to be fit at an old age. Bats a bit, occasionally persuaded to field. Captains the Sunday side.
Nick Davis 2 (statue)
Has all the equipment, and can hold a beautiful pose. Never drops a catch (in his own mind). Wears more underwear than the rest of the team put together, a fine cricketer none the less.
Charlie Butcher
Definitely has the makings of a fine cricketer. Has been seen on the ground on a wednesday evening, but not on a sunday for a while.
Andrew Bolton (notlob)
Maybe a fine cricketer, we don’t know, as he never plays. Comes to most curry evenings though. Has the makings of a fine cricketer.
Sam Mallard (sammy)
A fine young cricketer. A future all-rounder. Needs a prod occasionally but will be great.
Chris Huntley (little chris)
Another fine young cricketer. Will be a great bowler when he slows it down a bit.
Hallam Brown (nipper)
A fine young spin bowler. Has caught a ball one handed.
Nigel Brown (brawny)
The loudest man on the pitch. Sledges everyone (on the Hawkley team). Very fine cricketer and Captain of the Saturday side.
Dickie (juggler)
A fine cricketer. Managed a hat trick of catches on debut (all off one ball!). Has scored a run.
Angus Hasloch (lightning)
Another fine cricketer. Did once run after a ball.
Brad Kneller
I do believe will be an asset to the Hawkley team and become a fine cricketer- can definately bat, though he's too fast in the field for his own body.
Bill Oversby (buffalo)
A fine cricketer, can bowl a bit.
Mark Jarrett (muscles)
A very fine cricketer, can bat and keep wicket. The team supplier of Deep Heat.
Michael Burkie (burks)
A new find for Hawkley. Was once out first ball, but a fine cricketer none the less. Can obviously actually play cricket which is a bit worrying for some of our other players.
Tom North (whiskers)
A fine cricketer. Travels on public transport with a face makeover after a heavy night. Despite this can bowl and bat. Young enough to be able to run.
Richard Talbot.
Maybe too fine a cricketer for Hawkley. We shall see.